St. Francis in Ecstasy

I miss the manic fever

Rolling and writhing in my own sweat and vomit

Masturbating in my own shit;

My life for an altered state

(Little purple pills of sweet, strange Ambien; empty bottles of wine; powdered Ritalin scattered on a hand mirror)

A head injury and its seismic wave, felt deep in my system

Itchy eyes

(Bloodshot,

Pupils dilated)

Dancing points of light like knives

Beads of blood and sweat;

Somewhere, glass is shattering

Metal bends and breaks fast and violent and leaves me gasping

We convulse on the floor

A viper’s breeding ball

Panting and groaning and caressing;

Psyche looking upon Eros in horror and amazement

We are as vast and deep as the ocean

A tidal force that pulls the world under

Tongues of fire light my skull

And spirits whisper secrets in a forgotten language;

Lovely, long and grotesque creatures reveal the nature of heaven and hell in dreams and visions

God devours me and I am grateful.