Happy New Year (In progress indefinitely)

I still feel him in my viscera, deep down in the black tarry pit of my gut where acids break down bits of food meant to absorb liquor.

Deep down in the darkest pit there is.

Pain too tremendous to rise above carves a primitive hole in a primitive area. Guttural noises pierce through static.

Head like a snare drum and a billion nerves scream in unison. Bruises everywhere! Livid, swollen flesh murmurs a secret to nervous fingers as they flutter by.

To touch this injured flesh would be to sin against it. Be kind to yourself for once.

Venus de Medici circa early 18th century by Francesco Calenzuoli (1796-1821)

Stunning.

The Hand that Takes

Skin and bones, ravenous animal socialized by wolves

A feral child sleeps in trees where no one can reach

Carefully maintained turmoil as a companion

The blood on her hands is her own

She purges the contents of her stomach

And makes love with her reflection

 A drowning Narcissus,

She is not enough for herself

She scratches at the dirt, tracking the scent of my affection

I give her my heart and she eats it

Lovely pointed teeth devour

Perfect lips form a smile

Gristle clings to alabaster skin

Ether in every breath, music in every word

She feeds me thinnest broth

And lulls me to sleep

Dischordia Dances on Haiti

Vibration: To be shaken quite vigorously

Aloft, drifting in space; white noise is sweet music

Sliding about as a shadow does

This planet shakes and shivers

Her creatures scream
 Gravity is a crushing force

Oceans that teem with life go mad and collide with the land

All that was solid becomes liquid
 Fissures in the earth swallow whole

Art dies, and with it, the soul

The sky is as paper, tearing to reveal a terrible, vast whiteness  

A thousand children trapped in the ruins stare in horror at empty space

Human geometry, once noble, lies broken on the ground

The slums are a death mask

Pregnant women dine on clay

Disease like ripples on a lake, leaving nothing untouched;

Lovely human figures lay dying in the heat, betrayed by a vengeful rock

The ground hemorrhages beneath unsteady feet

Ash covers all the surface of the earth

Mother Chaos weeps in her void and looks on as we grope and cling.

A nightmare chasm, only static; it cannot be bridged

St. Francis in Ecstasy

I miss the manic fever

Rolling and writhing in my own sweat and vomit

Masturbating in my own shit;

My life for an altered state

(Little purple pills of sweet, strange Ambien; empty bottles of wine; powdered Ritalin scattered on a hand mirror)

A head injury and its seismic wave, felt deep in my system

Itchy eyes

(Bloodshot,

Pupils dilated)

Dancing points of light like knives

Beads of blood and sweat;

Somewhere, glass is shattering

Metal bends and breaks fast and violent and leaves me gasping

We convulse on the floor

A viper’s breeding ball

Panting and groaning and caressing;

Psyche looking upon Eros in horror and amazement

We are as vast and deep as the ocean

A tidal force that pulls the world under

Tongues of fire light my skull

And spirits whisper secrets in a forgotten language;

Lovely, long and grotesque creatures reveal the nature of heaven and hell in dreams and visions

God devours me and I am grateful.